Beano Superstars – Mumsie

Meet the mum of the unluckiest boy in the world

Hello, I’m James’ mum. You’ll know him better as Calamity James. He’s always in a pickle, that boy, always. He’s a magnet for bad luck and I’m always wondering what will happen next. No matter what happens, I’m always there for him.

We live on Lucky Lane, which you think would be good for someone as unlucky as James is, then I remembered we’re at number 13, which the unluckiest of numbers. I thought 13 and Lucky Lane would cancel each other out, at least. When I think about it, his bright red sweatshirt has a number 13 on the front. It looked nice in the shop and it didn’t even register.

His lemming, Alexander, is very helpful for a pet. He carries around a bottle of cream called Boris Borthwick’s Biological Botty Balm, which helps heal any scrapes and bumps James gets from being out and about in Beanotown. I don’t know how a lemming has that, especially a vintage bottle from 1912.

It’s funny, because they go everywhere together and it seems like Alexander tries to warn him when something unlucky might happen. I know he can’t talk, but it really seems like he can.

I’d better go, James will be home from school soon. I’m making his favourite meal for tea as a treat. I just hope I’ve not burned it while I’ve been chatting. Is that the smoke alarm? Bye!