20 James Bond Jokes For Your Eyes Only
Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed? Find out with these 20 spy-larious James Bond gags! They're double (07) the laughs!
You’ll be shaking (but not stirred) with laughter when you see these top secret James Bond jokes! So zip up your teflon tuxedo and grab your fidget spinner flamethrower - it's time to have a laugh at everyone's favourite movie spy!
If these James Bond jokes are just TOO action packed for you, try these slower snail jokes, these pretty pedestrian cross the road jokes, or even these crispy air fryer jokes! Something a bit different, eh?
Ok! Let's get on with these James Bond jokes!
Did you hear James Bond slept through an earthquake?
He was shaken but not stirred!
Where do James Bond actors go when they die?
00Heaven!
Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed?
Because it would blow his cover!
I went to make my own James Bond clothing, but came back with a plain, white T-shirt
I had No Time To Dye!
What do you call James Bond having a bath?
Bubble 07!
What sound does James Bond’s doorbell make?
Dong. Ding Dong!
Did you know that in James Bond, all the action scenes were done by agent 0014?
Of course, he was his double!
What do you call a James Bond film about a watch?
Casio Royale!
I asked my physician if he was a James Bond fan
Dr: No!
I once tried stealing a James Bond DVD...
...but a security guard scared the Living Daylights out of me!
I gave my pet bird a haircut and now he thinks he's James Bond
Well, I suppose he is a shorn canary!
Did you hear where they found the new James Bond actor?
On Daniel Craigslist!
How is it possible for James Bond to ride a horse without stirrups?
He uses shaken-ups!
Who always says his name 1½ times?
James Bond!
Have Sean Connery and Daniel Craig ever hung out?
I think they would really Bond!
Why did Sean Connery throw away his zucchini?
Courgette was rotten!
Who is the wettest spy in England?
Thames Bond!
Why did James Bond stand on a box of fish fingers?
To get a Birdseye view!
I just saw James Bond making burgers!
Turns out he has a licence to grill!
What’s Bond’s favourite Christmas snack?
Mince Spies!
