20 Carpet Jokes That Will Sweep You Away!
There's nothing but wall-to-wall laughs with these luxurious carpet jokes!
Chances are, you don't even notice the carpets you walk on every day. That's a shame - there are so many hilarious jokes about them we bet you've never thought of, but the good news is that they're all here! Lie down and get comfy for these side-splitting carpet jokes and puns - we promise you'll love them!
Do you need more jokes? Then oh boy, are YOU on the right website! You'll be knocked down by these door jokes, blown away by these fan jokes, and laid low by these bed jokes!
My mum phoned in a panic asking me how to get orange juice out of the carpet…
I said, “I don’t know, I usually get it from the fridge!”
Why is a carpet fitter so good at dancing?
He's always cutting a rug!
I sold my old carpet cleaner today…
It was only gathering dust!
Why was the carpet lying around?
It was feeling a bit ruggish!
What do you call an old carpet?
Rug-gedy!
The toughest man in the world has a bear carpet…
It isn’t dead, it’s just afraid to move!
How do baby chickens feel when you rub them on the carpet?
Egg-static!
My favourite chess player is called Dusty Carpet…
She’s never been beaten!
What’s brown and fluffy?
Your toast after you drop it on the carpet!
My dad won’t vacuum the carpet…
He thinks it's beneath him!
I told my carpet an interesting fact tonight…
It was floored!
What do you call a man who fits carpets for a living?
Walter Wall!
Why did the carpet have low self-esteem?
People just kept walking all over him!
What did the carpet say to the floor?
"I've got you covered!"
What’s a carpet’s favourite sport?
Rugby!
What do you say when you get up at the crack of dawn to go rug shopping?
Carpet diem!
I told the builder I didn’t want carpeted steps…
He gave me a blank stair!
My friend told me that the fact I take EVERYTHING literally meant he was always walking on eggshells around me…
I said, that’s terrible for the carpet!
I got a new carpet today!
His name is Joe, he’s a hamster and he lives in the glove compartment!
My friend doesn’t like to talk about her dry skin…
She’d rather sweep it under the carpet!
Want More Gags?
Check Out the Great Joke Generator!
