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Beano Comic

20 Driving Jokes To Drive You Crazy!

These driving jokes are guaranteed to take you places!

Hop into the passenger seat as we drive you around the block with these hilarious four-wheeled jokes and puns! They're wheely funny - you'll be laughing so hard, you'll need someone else to take the wheel! You can be transported into fits of laughter by our other jokes, too - have a laugh at motorbikes, buses, and airplanes!

Did you hear about the man who’s been stealing the wheels from police cars?

The police are working tirelessly to catch him!

What kind of car does a professional cook drive?

A Chef-rolet!

What should you double-check before buying an electric car?

That your driving license is current!

Someone complimented my driving the other day…

They left a note on the windshield saying “Parking Fine”!

Why did the washing machine rent a car?

He wanted to go for a spin!

Did you hear about the yoga class for electric cars?

They just park in a circle and say “ohm”!

Why won’t cars work after you change their tires?

Because they're retired!

Why do racecar drivers give such good dating advice?

They’re great at spotting red flags!

What kind of cars do Norwegians drive?

Fjords!

My sister said I could never make a car out of spaghetti…

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

What’s a car’s favourite meal?

Brake-fast!

Why are pigs bad drivers?

They hog the road!

Why did the police officer pull over the moving van?

He wanted to bust a move!

What’s the best car to drive underwater?

A Scubaru!

I have a terrible relationship with my chauffeur…

It feels like he’s trying to drive me away!

I couldn’t figure out how to do up my seatbelt…

Then it clicked!

Who can drive all their customers away and still make money?

Taxi drivers!

When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a driveway!

I stopped to pick up a hitchhiker…

Turns out, he was just trying to say he liked my driving!

What kind of car does a Jedi drive?

A Toyoda!