20 Brilliant Bridge Game Jokes & Puns!
These hilarious bridge-based jokes and puns will deal a serious hand of laughter!
They say bridge is just for the old, but what do they know? And with these bridge jokes and puns, you're about to experience the hilarious side of the game! And once you're done chuckling, get ready - cos we've got so many more jokes! Why not have a laugh about bingo, Monopoly, or lawn bowling!
Why can’t pirates play bridge?
They’re always standing on the deck!
In bridge, 43% of slam contracts fail, 60% of players are women…
And 96% of bridge statistics are made up!
I always arrive late for bridge…
But I make up for it by leaving late too!
How do you know when you’re in trouble as a bridge player?
When you’re the declarer and the opponents start drawing trumps!
My cardiologist says I can’t play bridge any more…
I don’t have a heart problem, he just says I’m terrible!
“I can see you’re getting worse at bridge every day…
But today you’re playing like it’s tomorrow!”
Why is Batman bad at bridge?
He only gets the Joker!
Me and my bridge partner had a misunderstanding…
She assumed I knew what I was doing!
Why are meritocrats bad at bridge?
Because they don’t count losers!
Did you hear about the guy who wanted to learn bridge in one day?
He bought 35 copies of “Five Weeks To Winning Bridge.”
Did you hear about the bridge player who knew nothing about the game?
His wife played twice as well!
Why are tennis players bad at bridge?
Because they always try and make the grand slam even if they don’t have enough aces!
Bridge fan at a concert: “What does the orchestra keep looking at?” Friend: “That’s the score.”
Bridge fan: “Oh, who’s vulnerable?”
What’s the difference between a raging bull and a bridge partner?
You can reason with the bull!
Why is marriage like bridge?
It involves two hearts and a diamond!
Why are the rich bad at bridge?
Because they can’t transfer from diamonds to hearts!
What did the bridge player’s son say when he was asked to count for the class?
“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king, ace!”
A wise man once said, “Bridge is a great comfort in your old age…
And it also helps you get there faster!”
There are three kinds of bridge players…
Those who can count, and those who can’t!
Why are DJs bad at bridge?
Because they always play in clubs!
