My name is Bertie Blenkinsop and I go to Bash Street School. I’m also Walter Brown’s best friend! He’s given me a five-minute break from helping him plan a trick on Dennis, so I thought I’d introduce myself.

People sometimes say that I look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. Then forwards. Then backwards again. But I think that’s not very kind. I think I look like a young Boris Johnson, actually. He looks perfectly smart, if you ask me.

As I’m Walter’s best – and only – friend, I go everywhere he goes. He lets me do all sorts of important things which he often says helps build character. One day, he fell face first into a muddy puddle and explained that only a true friend would swap school uniforms, so he would look nice and smart for his classes. He also asked me to carry his books for a moment while he ate a nice piece of cake. It took him the entire walk home from school to finish his slice. Even then, he said he had to wash his hands before touching his school books, so told me to take them to his room and put them on his desk while he watched TV.

That’s what friends are for, right?

I’d love to tell you about my favourite hobbies and what I like to do when I’m out and about in Beanotown, but I spend so much time with Walter that I’ve forgotten. We always seem to do what he wants to do, so I just go along with it. He often says that because he’s the mayor’s son, he’s allowed to make decisions on what we do for fun. Is that a thing? I’m not so sure.

But it doesn’t matter. I’m Walter’s friend and will always be by his side, especially when he has confrontations with Dennis and his gang. They always seem to be having fun. I bet they don’t do their homework.

That reminds me, I need to do some maths homework for Walter. He said it’ll be good practice for me. Bye for now!

Bertie Blenkinsop Fact File

Name: Bertie Blenkinsop

Age: 

Birthday: Every year!

Best friend: Walter Brown

Worst enemy: Anyone who Walter chooses to dislike that day

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Family:

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