Diary of a Bash Street Kid: Smiffy

Monday

Teacher said I had to keep a diary, but I said I didn’t know anything about milking cows. He said I should just write down what happens to me each day and what I’m thinking. So here goes…Today I went to this place called school. Which is like a work that grown-ups go to, but grown-ups get money for going to a work, and all kids get is board. Board like “Yawn, I’m board because this isn’t playing on an Xbox.” Not board like “This is a flat piece of wood called a plank or a board”.That’s what happened to me, and I didn’t do any thinking today.

Tuesday

Went to school again today. Teacher said I should try to think something and write it down… so… er… er… I’m thinking “Er.” but why am I writing “Er”? And why am I writing “I’m thinking “er”. But why am i writing “er”? And why am I writing this? And this!?! I need to stop writing what I’m thinking until I’m thinking something I should be writing… Arrrrgh! I’m still doing it!!!

Wednesday

Okay, diary. Let’s start this again. Teacher says diaries are for writing down thoughts, and it’s dairies that are for cows. So here are my thoughts…How do butterflies get into your tummy?Why is it a greenhouse when it isn’t green and it isn’t a house?Does water taste like snot when an elephant drinks through its trunk?

Thursday

Went to work again today. I shouldn’t have because I’m a kid and I should have gone to school, and it wasn’t again because I’d never been before. I sat at a desk and tried to work the computer, then a woman said “What are you doing at my desk? Leave that computer alone! Oh no! What have you done!?! You’ve deleted all my files!”Then some police came and took me to school and did a lot of pointing at the sign that says school and said stuff like “School! See? School! There’s a sign on it! It says school! Go to this place, not work!”

Friday

Went to the beach again today… No. Wait a minute. That might have been a mistake.