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Diary of a Bash Street Kid โ€“ Toots

Monday

Iโ€™m Toots. The only girl in Class 2B. Which is a bit weird but I like it that way because girls wonโ€™t do what I tell them, and boys always do. Which kind of means Iโ€™m in charge of everyone. Even Teacher.The only problem with boys is that they smell so bad. Why is that? We eat the same stuff, donโ€™t we? Do boys secretly eat sprouts when girls arenโ€™t looking?

Tuesday

Mum says Iโ€™m a tomboy. Which is a girl who likes to do โ€œboy stuffโ€ like climbing trees, playing video games and fighting. This doesnโ€™t make sense because Iโ€™m better at all that than boys. The way I see it is that boys like to do girl stuff.I play with dolls too, though. Today I made a parachute for my doll, Doll. Thatโ€™s her name. She didnโ€™t break anything when I thew her out of my bedroom window so the parachute must have worked. Mum thinks I should give my doll a better name than Doll. Iโ€™m thinking maybe Destroyer or Jillโ€ฆ or maybe Jill the Destroyer.

Wednesday

Extra homework today. I could ask (shout) any of the boys to do my homework for me and I know theyโ€™d do it. Well, maybe not Danny. The problem is that theyโ€™re all idiots! Even my brother Sidney. Which I donโ€™t understand because heโ€™s related to me. I suppose heโ€™s smart compared to Smiffy but then chairs are smart compared to Smiffy!

Thursday

Thereโ€™s only one boy I like in school. Unfortunately heโ€™s not in my class. His name is Dennis. Wellโ€ฆ I donโ€™t actually like him but heโ€™s the boy whoโ€™s the least annoying out of them all. Today he sneaked his dog into school. Which he does a lot. No-one knew until it sniffed out the sausages in the canteen and thenโ€ฆ well, hereโ€™s a drawing of that.

Friday

Boys will do anything I ask (shout) them to do, but itโ€™s not always a good idea to do that. I left my pen in class and I asked Smiffy to get it for me. He went away and brought me back a toaster. Then he said โ€œHereโ€™s your headphonesโ€. Bizarro!Also, one time in the canteen I asked Fatty to get my dinner for me โ€“ I havenโ€™t seen him since!