What do you want to be when you grow up? An astronaut, a famous actor, a firefighter… or are you still totally undecided? Well, luckily for you it’s careers day here at Beano! Today we’re going to learn about some of the craziest careers of all time, ever! Some of these jobs are historical, and some are still totally possible for you to get into – well, except for one job that’s not for humans, but you’ll have to read on to find out! Get ready for danger, crying, lots of seawater, a huge round of applause and an army of trained rodents! We’ve got lots more fun facts for you to sink your teeth into when you’re done – learn 20 weird history facts, some incredible international Easter traditions, or 15 facts about Victorian school that will make you glad to be around today!

1. Dog food taster

This is exactly what it says on the tin (so to speak)! It’s important that pet food is nutritious, but it also needs to be tasty and – most importantly – not smell too bad or look too weird. This is more for the benefit of the owner than the dog – after all, the owner is the one who will be buying the food, and they don’t want their house to stink! It’s also a surprisingly skilled job – pet food testers often hold qualifications in food science and/or culinary arts, and the pay isn’t bad, with Glassdoor estimating around a £30,000 yearly salary!

2. Train pusher

Ever spent ages waiting for your train to close the doors and move away, but people are still coming on board? Wish they’d move faster so you could go? Well, there is a solution – the train pusher! These station workers shove passengers onto crowded trains during rush hours. Japanese train pushers, called oshiya, are probably the most famous. These guys wear smart uniforms and nice white gloves, and they really won’t hesitate to make sure everyone’s on board! Japanese trains have become a lot less congested in the last 20 years, so fewer oshiya are needed. Train pushers aren’t just in Japan though – they’ve also been needed in Madrid, New York, Frankfurt, and Beijing. Train pushers have been around in New York since the late 19^th century – instead of using their hands though, they’d yell “Step lively!” at the passengers. This was considered extremely rude at the time!

3. Clapper

You’ve just told a fantastic joke, and you turn to your adoring crowd for applause – only to be met with silence. Disaster! Of course, this would never happen to you (you’re WAY too funny), but for lesser comedians, there’s always the option of a professional clapper. These guys were called claqueurs, and a group of them is a claque. The practice dates back to Roman times, but it was especially popular in France, where an agency for professional clappers opened in 1820. The practice spread to Italy, the UK, Vienna, and New York too, and it evolved into a form of extortion – as in, pay us to clap or we’ll boo your performance instead! The practice has mostly died out, but it still happens sometimes.

4. Mermaid

Your childhood dreams just came true! Okay, so you can’t actually become a mermaid (sigh), but you can don a set of fake fins and make a living! Professional mermaids are usually women, though some men do it too. They wear a special tail and some seriously gorgeous costumes, wigs and make-up, and they perform at all sorts of occasions – they’re especially popular at children’s birthday parties! It can be a tricky job, as you’ll need to be a strong swimmer and get diving certification if you want to perform safely in a tank or in the open sea. Learning how to perform underwater is also a must for the job, so many mermaids train in modelling, ballet, and artistic swimming. Most mermaids are self-employed, but there are some places that hire mermaids – for example, there’s a bar in Montana which has an underwater window to a swimming pool and hires six mermaids to perform five days a week!

5. Underwater hotelier

We’re staying under the sea for this one! Have you ever stayed in a hotel and thought, “I’d love this to be a lot wetter”? Have we got the solution for you! Head to Florida and stay at Jules’ Undersea Lodge in Key West. The hotel is a former marine research facility, and it’s located 21 feet under a lagoon – the only way in is to scuba dive to the lodge’s entrance hatch! The only thing wackier than staying there is working there. The guests will have to eat while they’re staying the night, so the Lodge has a special underwater food delivery service! They also offer a gourmet option, where a chef will dive down and prepare a gourmet meal! So, if you’re considering a career in pizza delivery or the culinary arts, why not put an underwater twist on it?

6. Teddy doctor

We’re all very attached to our favourite teddies, and it’s an unfortunate fact of life that sometimes they get a bit bashed up! Luckily, some kind and enterprising souls have turned their sewing skills to the art of teddy bear surgery! There are numerous toy doctors all over the world, and they specialise in cleaning and repairing toys so they’re good as new!

7. Barber-surgeon

Getting your appendix out? Why not kill two birds with one stone and get a cool fade at the same time? Well, of course you can’t do that – not anymore, that is! In the Middle Ages medicine was not the regulated profession it is today, and physicians (doctors) did not perform surgery, or even understand the inside of the human body very well. But people still needed teeth pulling, abscesses drained and amputations performed – so off to the barber they went! Barbers had a lot of sharp tools and good hand-eye co-ordination, so it made sense for them to extend their craft to surgery. It wasn’t an ideal situation though, as people often died from blood loss and infection – oh, and did we mention this was before anaesthesia was invented? There are still some signs of the old barber-surgeon profession nowadays – it’s said that the red and white barber pole is supposed to represent blood and bandages. You might also notice that surgeons often go by “Mr” or “Ms” instead of “Dr” – this is left over from the days when surgeons didn’t need a medical degree to practice. Luckily they do now – and you’ll get a nice anaesthetic when you need surgery! You could probably try asking your surgeon if they’ll also cut your hair while you’re under, but we’re betting they’ll say no.

8. Professional mourner

No one enjoys going to funerals, but might it be better if you were paid for it – and if you didn’t know the person who died? Welcome to the world of professional mourners! The word for a professional mourner is a moirologist, and the practice dates from ancient times. In Ancient Egypt women would wail, tear at their hair and cover their bodies in dirt, and the two most important mourners would dress as the goddesses Isis and Nephthys. In China, professional mourners have existed since the 8^th century, and often put on theatrical performances during funerals. There were also professional mourners throughout Europe since the Roman era. Professional mourners still exist today, too. In China, elaborate performances still take place at funerals, and in the UK there used to be a company called “Rent A Mourner”, where a grieving family could hire people to fill out the funerals.

9. Scare actor

Acting is already a job that can get pretty weird (did you know that Nicolas Cage ate a live cockroach for a film once?). But some actors specialise in one thing – being scary! These actors usually work in the Halloween season, and perform at haunted houses and special live events all over the world. They have one job: to scare you as much as possible! The biggest scare actor event of all is Halloween Horror Nights, which takes place at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida and Hollywood, California. Actors are dressed as characters and jump out at guests to cause maximum fright! Halloween events are much more popular in the USA than in the rest of the world, but you don’t need to move there to get a job as a scare actor. The Dungeons, which can be found in Edinburgh, York, Blackpool, Alton Towers, Warwick Castle and London, are open all year round and are filled with actors ready to make you scream!

10. Groom of the Stool

This historical job was equal parts important and disgusting! The Groom of the Stool was the person who was responsible for helping the monarch of England when he went to the toilet. The title comes from the slightly longer name “Groom of the Close Stool”, a close stool being an early toilet (essentially just a chair with a hole and a box underneath). It sounds like a disgusting job, but it actually had some serious benefits. The king usually developed a very close relationship with the groom (for obvious reasons!), so he would be privy (ha!) to some seriously juicy royal gossip. This meant that the grooms became powerful and respected in the court, and later grooms even being in charge of important policies!

11. Mudlark

If you’ve ever dropped something valuable down the toilet, you probably never expect to see it again. Well, someone else might just pick it up for you – and if you live in 19^th century London, it might even show up on the banks of the Thames! Mudlarks scavenged the riverbanks looking for lost coins and valuable items to sell or keep. They were usually kids between the ages of 8 and 15, and most of them were boys (though some girls and adults also mudlarked). It was dirty and dangerous work, and you weren’t guaranteed any pay, but they did get to decide their own hours and keep all the money they earned! Mudlarks still exist today, but most of them are adults and you need a license to do it. You wouldn’t be allowed to keep anything very valuable you find, but most mudlarks are in it for the joy of discovery, and give the items they find to museums or archives.

12. Powder monkey

Another great job for kids in history! Powder monkeys were young boys, usually age 12-14, who worked on warships during the Age of Sail (mid-16^th to mid-19^th century). Their job was to move gunpowder from the ship’s hold to the cannons. It was important to be small and agile to do this because they could easily move in the limited space available, and hide from enemy fire behind the ship’s gunwale.  

13. Iceberg watcher

Most of us don’t have to worry about icebergs, but as you may know, when they cause a problem it’s gonna be a HUGE problem! After the sinking of the Titanic in 1912, the International Ice Patrol was founded in 1913 to monitor dangerous icebergs in the North Atlantic Ocean. They’re still active today, making use of the latest technology to survey icebergs and keep mariners aware of any danger. They have a Guinness World Record for the longest iceberg patrol, commencing in 1914 – and if you’ve ever travelled by boat in icy seas, they’ve helped to keep you safe!

14. Human alarm clock

Ever wondered what people did before alarm clocks existed, or even before alarm clocks were cheap to buy? The answer is more cartoonish than you might think! Starting in the Industrial Revolution, knocker-uppers rapped on doors and windows with a long stick to wake people up when it was time to go to work. Some knocker-uppers also used pea shooters to hit the window! The job was usually done by elderly men and pregnant women, and in County Durham miners left slate boards outside their homes with their shift details written on them in chalk. The job had mostly died out by the 1950s, but it continued in some parts of the UK until the 1970s. Nowadays alarm clocks aren’t expensive – but of course most people just use their phones!  

15. Hero rat

You’ve probably heard of animals with jobs before, like police dogs or racehorses. But have you ever heard of a rat who saves lives? Belgian charity APOPO trains southern giant pouched rats (native to the savannah of East and Southern Africa) to detect landmines and identify tuberculosis. This is very important in places like Cambodia, Senegal, Azerbaijan, Zimbabwe, Ethiopia, Tanzania and South Sudan, where landmines and/or tuberculosis pose a serious threat to the population. The rats are trained with positive reinforcement, and they’re particularly good at finding landmines, because they’re too light to trigger an explosion, and because they can differentiate between an explosive and scrap metal, which metal detectors can’t. One rat, Magawa, won a PDSA Gold Medal for his work, which is the highest honour an animal can achieve. He’s the only rodent to ever win one!