75 Christmas Puns to Sleigh this Holiday Season
Make your festive holiday more of a LOL-iday with these hilarious Christmas jokes!
Deck the boughs of LOL-ly! It's the most wonderful time of the year. Not because of gifts, time off school or spending time with your family – it's the best excuse to tell some awesome Christmas jokes! To be fair, it would be strange to share these jokes in the middle of the summer. People would think you're too excited for Christmas.
After you've worked your way through these Christmas crackers, check out our festive Home Alone facts, our ultimate Christmas trivia quiz or the Christmas emoji quiz!
What do strawberries sing at Christmas?
'Tis the season to be jelly!
Why did the Grinch get a burglar alarm?
Because he needs to get up on time!
Which Christmas carol do dogs like best?
Bark the Herald Angels Sing!
Where does a snowman save his money?
In a snow bank!
How good is Santa at judo?
He had a black belt when he started!
Why is a foot a good Christmas present?
It makes a good stocking filler!
How much money did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing – it was on the house!
Why doesn't Santa eat junk food?
Because it's not elf-y!
What does Santa spend his wages on?
Jingle bills!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with!
What do chimps sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells!
What time does Santa go down the chimney?
When it soots him!
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even!
How does Christmas Day always end?
With a Y!
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
How is Stormzy like an elf?
He spends all his time wrapping!
What do snowmen call their kids?
Chill-dren
What’s every parent’s favourite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night!
What do elves have to do after school?
Their gnome work!
What is Santa's favourite type of snack?
Crisp Pringles!
What does Santa say when his phone battery ran out on Christmas Eve?
Oh! No! No! No!
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because Frost bites!
Why is it so cold at Christmas?
Because it’s in Decembrrr!
Which reindeer has the all best moves?
Dancer!
Who delivers presents to sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What's an elf’s favourite kind of music?
Wrap!
What did one snowman say to the other?
Can you smell carrots?
How does a sheep say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with a laptop?
A pine-Apple!
What do donkeys call Christmas?
Muletide!
What happens to elves if they mess around at work?
They get the sack!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
How did the snowman get to work?
They rode their icicle!
Why are reindeer the best at telling Christmas jokes?
Because they sleigh every time!
Who gives presents to dogs at Christmas?
Santa Paws!
What do you call a rich elf?
Welfy!
What do you call a naughty reindeer?
Rude-olph!
Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen at the auction?
They were two deer!
Why do mummies love Christmas?
They enjoy wrapping presents!
What goes 'Oh, Oh, Oh'?
Santa Claus walking backwards!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A bad case of tinsilitis!
How do you know when Santa’s has visited?
You can sense his presents!
Knock Knock! Who's there? Mary and Abby. Mary and Abby who?
Mary Christmas and Abby New Year!
Why does the Grinch hate Christmas?
It makes him green with envy!
How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out?
They spruce up!
Why is it dangerous for Olaf to be angry?
He might have a meltdown!
What Christmas carol is sung in the desert?
O, Camel Ye Faithful!
What do you sing at Santa's birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas?
'Tis the season to be jelly!
What do you get if you cross a Turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
Knock Knock! Who's there? Carol. Carol who?
Christmas Carol!
What did the wise men say after they gave their gifts?
Oh, there's myrrh!
What’s red, white and green?
Santa Claus when he’s travel sick!
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
Merry Christmas to ewe!
What is Santa's favourite subject?
Chemis-tree!
Why did the Christmas tree enjoy knitting?
It always had needles!
Why did Santa go to the doctor?
To have an elf check!
What do you call a cat who hangs out with Santa?
Santa Claws!
How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas turkey?
On the dark side?
What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A Christmas quacker!
What do you call an old snowman?
A puddle of water!
What do mice have for Christmas dinner?
Cheese and crackers!
Why doesn't the Elf on the Shelf have a boss?
They're elf employed!
Knock Knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who?
Olive Christmas!
What do dogs say at Christmas?
Merry Christmutts!
How do you keep your hands clean during the Christmas holidays?
With Santa-tiser!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosties!
What do you call it when Santa has a break?
A Santa Pause!
Why can't a reindeer say the alphabet?
Because there is no L!
What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas?
Bah-humbug!
Who called Rudolph names?
Olive, the other reindeer!
Who is Santa's favourite pop star?
Beyon-sleigh!
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A ren-deer!
