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Beano Comic

78 TV Jokes To Make Your Screen With Laughter

Looking for some Oscar worthy TV jokes? Look no further!

Binge on Beano's collection of knee slapping, giggle inducing TV jokes! 

Need more? Check out our Disney, Marvel or Harry Potter jokes! 

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every film has a cast!

How Dreamwork's chemistry movie will be named?

How to train your Argon!

Two television aerials met on a roof, fell in love an got married.

The ceremony wasn’t great but the reception was fantastic!

The local television controller museum has had almost no visitors.

People are not remotely interested!

I got offered a TV with a broken sound system for £50...

I couldn't turn it down!

What's a cow's favourite sci-fi TV programme?

Dr. Moo!

What does Dr Who eat with their pizza?

Dalek bread!

What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account?

Prime mates!

I wasn't sure Netflix would be successful...

Then again, Stranger Things have happened!

Why do actors like snooker halls?

Because that's where they get their best cues!

What do you get if you cross a dog with a film studio?

Collie-wood!

What do you call a fight between celebrity actors?

Star Wars!

What language does Postman Pat use when delivering to Hogwarts?

Parceltongue!

Why would Snow White make a good judge?

Because she is the fairest of them all!

Why did Mr Bean sell his Mini?

To upgrade to a Mercedes Beanz!

Thanos, Hulk, and Iron Man created a group chat...

It's named SnapChat!

Why does Iron Man think Thanos is a pessimist?

Because he's a Universe half empty kind of guy!

Why didn't Tony Stark like his new assistant?

He wasn't Happy!

What does Tony Stark eat for breakfast?

Iron Bran!

Thor, Iron Man and Hulk walk into IKEA...

Avengers...assemble!

What's the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?

Iron Man stops the villains but Aluminum Man just foils their plans!

What does Kermit say when he's enjoying dinner?

Time's fun when you're having flies!

Where did Kermit leave his jacket and hat?

In the croakroom!

How did Superman narrowly escape his death?

He tuned Kryptoff!

What did Superman name his dog?

Lex Woofer!

Why does Superman always carry an adapter plug with him?

Because he's from the DC universe!

What's the difference between Spiderman and Superman?

Peter Parker can shoot webs. Clark Kent!

Did you hear about the Scooby Doo villain who became an Olympic swimmer?

He would have won, if it weren't for all those medaling swimmers!

What does Scooby Doo say at the end of grace?

Ramen!

Why were Madame Gazelle's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils!

Why does no one believe George's stories?

He tells porky pies!

Zebra: Let's switch roles for the day!

Simba: Okay, I'm game!

Why does Mr. Krabs never give to charity?

He's a shellfish penny pincher!

What's in Squidward's underpants?

Squid marks!

Why does Gary the snail never share his kibble?

He's shellfish!

What did Spongebob say to the Krabby Patty?

Pleased to eat you!

What did Timon say when Simba out-ran him?

You're fit - for a King!

Why does Timon get mad at Pumbaa when they're watching TV?

He keeps hogging the remote!

What did Mickey Mouse say when he crashed his car?

Disney matter!

How do Wookiees like their cookies?

Chewie!

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He Neverlands!

Where did Hamm go to school?

Hogwarts!

What did Woody say to the pencil?

Draw, pardner!

What does Woody say when he has bad gas?

Darn tootin'!

What does Woody say when he walks into a German car dealership?

Audi!

Why is Jessie undefeated at darts?

Because she always gets Bullseye!

How do the Malfoys get into bed?

They Slytherin!

My friend said I'm starting to annoy her because I relate everything to Batman.

What a Joker!

What's Batman's favourite Chinese dish?

Kung POW chicken!

What's Aladdin's least favourite type of sea food?

Street urchin!

Why is Jafar bad at dating?

He isn't charming enough!

Why couldn’t Princess Leia find love?

She was looking in Alderaan places!

Who does Princess Leia's hair?

Darth Braider!

What is Aladdin's favourite pokémon?

Magikarpet!

Why was princess Fiona so bad at basketball?

Because she had an onion for a coach!

Lord Farquaad, Gingy and the three blind mice had a party...

It was a little get together!

Where does Gru take Kyle to get his fur trimmed?

The Gru-mers!

Why was Elsa buying a new laptop?

Her old one was frozen!

Why did Elsa's credit card get rejected?

Because her accounts were frozen!

What kind of birthday cake does Elsa like?

The kind with lots of frosting and icing!

What appears over Ash’s head when he gets an idea?

A lightbulbasaur!

Where do Pokemon go if their tails fall off?

A re-tail store!

Why can’t you blindfold a Pokemon?

Because it’s going to Pikachu!

Why did the minion take his banana to the doctor?

It wasn't peeling very well!

How do minions get downstairs?

They slide down the banana-ster!

Why is despicable me such a popular film?

It's based on a Gru story!

What's Spider-Man's favourite month?

Webuary!

Why was Aunt May worried about Spider-Man?

He was spending too much time on the web!

Who gets travel sick when he tries to destroy New York?

The Green Goblin!

Why didn't Spider-Man save the day?

He couldn't get out of the bath!

How do Jedi say goodbye?

See ya Leia!

What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas carol?

Jungle Bells!

Why is Garrick Ollivander never home?

He's a wanderer!

Doctor, doctor! Every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.

How long have you been getting these Disney spells?!

What happened when the TV aerials got married?

They had a great reception!

Why couldn’t Cinderella play cricket?

She always ran away from the ball!

What's a horses favourite TV drama?

Neighbours!