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20 Asparagus Jokes That Will Cause A Stink

Hey you - hungry for hilarity? Grab a handful of these wholesome vegetable puns! Because it's always time for asparagus!

Asparagus - like beans - is a pretty funny kind of vegetable. When eaten they can make your... ahem... wee smell funny! But don't let that put you off though, as asparagus is full of important vitamins and nutrients! But whatever your wee smells like, this isn't the only thing asparagus humoour has going for it!

Read on to find out more about asparagus! And if you'd rather chortle at some other fruit and veg puns, we have loads more! Check out these blueberry jokes, these raisin jokes, or even these totally awesome vegan jokes!

I want to grab just one asparagus…

Why not grab a PAIR-a-gus?

People who sell meat are gross

But people who sell asparagus are grocer!

What did the asparagus priest say at the vegetable church?

Lettuce pray!

Why did the asparagus change its name to asaragus?

Because its "p" smelled funny!

What’s a goose’s favorite vegetable?

Asparagoose!

What’s an asparagus’ favourite joke?

No idea - beets me!

I’ve started investing in stocks; beef, chicken and asparagus

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire!

I used to prefer asparagus to beans

Then I had a change of fart!

Why is it always a good idea to pack asparagus when you go camping?

In case your other agus breaks!

The definition of an asparagus

A bean with aspirations of becoming a paintbrush!

What’s the best vegetable to have in the car?

Asparagus!

What do you call an indecisive asparagus?

An uhhhsparagus!

Asparagus is great. It affects your waterworks, and also helps with hunches and gut feelings

When you eat asparagus, you can trust urine stinks!

What do you call an asparagus that wants to be a better person?

Aspiregus!

What did the asparagus say to the Eggs Benedict?

Happy Hollandaise!

The word asparagus is funny

It sounds like an Italian guy begging you to leave someone named Gus alone!

I bought 10 asparagus at the store but when I got home I realized I had 11

It was just a spare, I guess!

A guy walked into the doctor with asparagus up his nose. The guy says, "Doc, I just don't get why I'm always sick"

The doctor replies, "Well, you're not eating right!"

Why does broccoli always beat asparagus in races?

Because they floret!

I have a flat tyre...

I should have got asparagus!