73 Crab Jokes Which Are Truly Claw-some!
There's no need to pinch these crab jokes! We're happy to share them. We're not shellfish!
If you're having trouble making friends, these crab jokes will help you come out of your shell. They're clawsome!
If you're still feeling salty, then there's plenty more jokes in the sea jokes page, or even plunge into a pool of puns with our fresh water jokes. Then check out our whale jokes. You'll be blubbering with laughter! In summary we have a whole load of jokes. Find them all on the jokey joke, joke page!
How does a crab become a judge?
They study claw!
What do you call a crab who plays baseball?
A pinch hitter!
Why are crabs so bad at sharing pizza?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why did the crab lose the running race?
They pulled a mussel!
How did a crab get into the sold out concert?
They shelled out a lot of money!
What do you call a crab who plays guitar?
A rock lobster!
Did you hear about the crab who became a comedian?
He clawed his way to the top!
What did the crab catcher say when his crate turned up empty?
"It ap-piers we have a problem!"
What does the Prime Minister call its trusted crab advisors?
A crabinet!
Why did the crab get arrested?
For pinching lots of things!
What is the best job for a crab who can steer a car?
A crab driver!
Where does a crab keep their things?
In a crabinet!
How did the crab get to the party?
In a taxi crab!
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
Why did the crab get bad grades?
Because it was below C level!
How do crabs earn extra money?
With a side hustle!
What does a hermit crab call their girlfriend?
Michelle!
Why did the hermit crab move into a new shell?
Because it wanted a change of address!
What does a crab do on their birthday?
They shellebrate!
Why did the crab speak to their the lawyer?
They noticed a claws in their contract!
What did the crab say when they’re arguing with someone?
I don’t quite sea it that way!
Why did the crab get fired?
Because they weren't moving the company forward!
How do crabs call their friends?
On their shell phone!
How do you know if a crab is in a bad mood?
It snaps at everything!
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed!
How do you know if a hermit crab is feeling happy?
It comes out of its shell more often!
Why did the crab buy his girlfriend flowers?
Just beclaws he loved her!
What does a crab say when they’re confused?
"Can you please be more Pacific?"
What did the wandering crab say when it finally made its way back to the ocean?
"Long time no sea!"
What’s a crab’s favourite music?
Anything that rocks!
Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Crab. Crab who?
Crab me a snack, please!
What do you call a crab who doesn’t like spending money?
A penny pincher!
What’s a crab’s favourite song?
Don’t Worry, Be Crabby!
Why did the crab start a rock band?
It wanted to be a shell-ebrity!
What do you call a crab who’s good at magic?
A shell-usionist!
What does a crab say when he goes to the rodeo?
"Yee-Claw!"
Why did the crab decide to stop eating pasta?
Crabohydrates made them feel bloated!
Why was the crab so quiet?
Because the waves keep going “Ssshhhhhhh!”
How much salt do hermit crabs like on their food?
Just a pinch!
How do you know a crab is dizzy?
They walk in a straight line!
Did you read the book called 'Crab: The Novel'?
It was really crabtivating!
Why don’t crabs like football?
Because they're afraid of the net!
What vitamin does a crab take every morning?
Vitamin Sea!
What is a crab’s favourite fruit?
A crab apple!
What did the crab say when they didn’t have enough money?
I’m in a pinch!
Where do crabs go when they need to catch public transport?
The bustacean!
Why did the crab cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
Why did the musical crab move to New York City?
They wanted to star in the crabaret!
What’s a crab’s favourite part about pizza?
That crust taste, son!
What party game do crabs like to play?
Salmon Says!
How does the crab answer the phone?
“Shello?”
Why do crabs never give waiters a tip?
Because they’re shellfish!
What’s a crab’s favourite type of music?
Claw-ssical!
What did the crab police officer say to the prawn who was speeding?
You must abide by the claw!
What do crabs say to a crab who's steering a ship?
Aye aye, crab-tain!
What did one hipster crab playing on its shellphone say to the other?
Help me think of an Instagram crabtion!
What do you call a crab that never shares its toys?
Shellfish!
Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
Kings Crustation!
What do you call the greatest crab artist that ever lived?
Leonardo Da Pinchi. He was clawsome!
Excuse me does this restaurant serve crabs?
Take a seat, Sir. We serve everybody!
How did the limpet cross the river?
She took a taxi crab!
What do crabs do on their birthdays?
They shellabrate!
Why did the crab blush?
It saw the bottom of the sea!
Where do crabs sleep?
On the sea bed
What do you call a crab that eats mince pies?
Santa Claws
What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop?
A crabaccino
What would a crab do with a iPhone?
Shelfies!
Where do crabs save their money?
In a sand bank!
How does a crab feel after it's eaten too much seaweed?
Clawful!
What do you call a crab that throws things gently up in the air?
It's not a crab, it's a lobster!
What do you call an apple that walks sideways?
A crab apple
What do you call a pit stop that sells crabs and pizza?
A crust station!
Why did the crab never share?
Because he's shellfish!
