Pantomime Jokes
Check out these classic pantomime jokes and see which ones deserve an encore! Which of these panto jokes will be your fave? And which ones deserve a boo and a hiss?
These panto jokes are very funny - oh yes they are! Check out some classic panto gags and see which ones you like best! And if you liked these, how about some chilly chuckles with these cold jokes! Or maybe you'd rather have a laugh at these great gardening jokes! We've even got some awesome ocean jokes! And you can check out hundreds more jokes on our main jokes hub!
What role do headteachers play in pantomimes?
The principal boy!
I used to have a job as the front of a pantomime horse...
I quit when I was a head!
Why does Dick Whittington have a beard?
His cat prefers Whiskers!
What's the scariest panto?
Ghoul-dilocks and the Three Bears!
Why was the Pantomime Dame sad?
His career was behind him!
What sort of pet does Aladdin have?
A flying car-pet!
A pantomime horse walks into a bar, and the barman says...
'Why the long faces?'
What do panto actors say when their laces get tangled?
'Oh no, it's knot!'
What do you call a Christmas show about knickers?
A PANT-omime!
What's Cinderella's favourite sweeties?
Chocolate buttons!
Did you hear about the actor playing the cow in Jack and the Beanstalk?
He really milked it!
Why did the panto villain refuse to fight?
He didn't want to make a scene!
Did you hear about the actor who didn't get the part he wanted in Snow White?
He wasn't Happy!
I went into a library and asked for a book about pantomimes
The librarian said 'It's behind you!'
Why was Snow White made a judge?
She's the fairest of them all!
What happened when the Dame kept falling through the floor?
It was just a stage she was going through!
Why do actors always give Christmas presents at pantomimes?
They want some stage presence!
Which panto always takes place in a chemists?
Puss in Boots!
A pantomime horse walks into a bar...
Twice!
Who stars in the fish version of Cinderella?
The Fairy Codmother!
Why did Widow Twankey quit her job as a laundress?
It was de-pressing!
What side of Jack’s house did the beanstalk grow?
The outside!
How did Jack know how many beans Bessie was worth?
He used a cowculator!
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he worked as a pantomime horse?
“I’ll be back.”
What’s beautiful, grey and wears glass slippers?
Cinderellephant!
What pantomime do fishes go to see?
Finderella!
Who’s the best character in Finderella?
Her fairy codmother!
What’s the scariest pantomime?
Ghouldilocks and the Three Bears!
Why is a pantomime often just called a panto?
Because the mime is silent!
What do ghosts go to see at Christmas?
A phantomime!
Why was Cinderella such a terrible footballer?
She kept running away from the ball!
Why does Snow White make such a good judge?
Because she’s the fairest of them all!
What kind of dog does the genie own?
A labracadabrador!
A pantomime actor kept falling through the floor during the performance…
I think it was a stage he was going through!
What did the librarian say when I asked for a book on pantomimes?
“It’s behind you!”
What do flowers go to see at Christmas?
A plantomime!
A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman says, “Would you like a pint?”
The horse says, “No, two halves!”
Why did the front half of the pantomime horse leave his job?
He wanted to quit while he was ahead!
Why did Jack’s cow have a bell around her neck?
Because her horns didn’t work!
Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich?
Because the poor didn’t have anything!
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