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20 Jam-tastic Jazz Jokes!

With these jazz jokes, it's all about the laughs you DON'T have!

Mad about music and looking for a laugh? Go no further? These smooth, cool jazz jokes will have you laughing like an out-of-tune saxophone! And stick around for more musical merriment when you're done - try our trumpet jokes, or guitar jokes, or maybe you'd prefer some Elvis jokes?

What’s grey, has tusks and sings jazz?

Elephantzgerald!

Did you hear about the jazz weekend break?

You can get R&R at a B&B listening to R&B!

Why can’t jazz musicians be trusted?

They only play sus chords!

A bus carrying a jazz band broke down on the motorway…

The news is reporting a massive jam!

What do you call a German jazz musician?

Jazz Hans!

My goldfish are named Dorian, Lydian, Major, Minor and Diminished…

The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales!

What’s the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?

Vibrato!

How do you keep your violin from being stolen?

Put it in a trumpet case!

How do you know when a jazz singer is at your door?

They can’t find the key and they don’t know when to come in!

How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?

Take away his instrument!

Why can’t vampires play jazz?

They have no soul!

How do you get a jazz musician off your porch?

Pay him and take the pizza!

What’s the range of a trumpet?

About 20 metres, if you have a good arm!

What do you call someone who hangs out with jazz musicians?

A drummer!

How does a jazz musician get to Carnegie Hall?

Practice!

What's the difference between a pop group and a jazz group?

A pop group plays 3 chords for 1,000 people. A jazz group plays 1,000 chords for 3 people!

Which Stevie Wonder song is famous for its use of jazz chords?

I Jazz Chord To Say I Love You!

Why do farmers play smooth jazz for their corn?

It's easy on the ears!

How does a jazz musician get £2m?

Give him £4m, he’ll take it from there!

Did you hear about the jazz accordionist who left his accordion in his car?

When he came back someone had broken in and left three more accordions inside!