Tell Me 22 Jokes That'll Make Me Laugh!

I was about to tell a bowling joke to a friend...

They said 'spare me'!

How can you tell if a flamingo is hiding in a funfair?

The candyfloss tastes weird!

I'm a big fan of whiteboards.

They're just re-markable!

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

But I couldn't find any!

What’s the stupidest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear!

Why do bees have sticky hair?

They use honeycombs!

I'm scared of elevators.

I'm taking steps to avoid them!

What’s green and has wheels?

The jungle. I lied about the wheels!

What’s brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on holiday!

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator!

If I had 50p for every failed math test...

I'd have £3.29!

So what if I don’t know what “Armageddon” means?

It's not the end of the world!

What's blue and not very heavy?

Light blue!

I own the world’s worst thesaurus.

Not only is it awful, it’s awful!

I hate Russian dolls.

They're so full of themselves!

Which nut has won the World Cup the most?

A Brazil nut!

What's the best way to catch an elephant?

Hide in the grass and pretend to be a peanut!

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I dunno, but the flag is a big plus!

When did Napoleon keep his armies?

Up his sleevies!

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a computer?

Lots of memory!

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work!

I went to the local rugby stadium and it was really cool inside...

It must have been all the fans!