20 Tortoise Jokes That'll Bring You Out Of Your Shell
Slow down and check out these turtle-y hilarious tortoise jokes! Read on for some rip-roaring reptilian ridiculousness!
Who doesn't love these slow-moving reptiles? That's right - nobody! So you're in the right place for the world's best collection of hilarious tortoise jokes! But if you're after some less shell-y puns and one-liners, then feast your eyes on this wild collection of animal jokes! We've got these extra cheesy rat jokes, these pigeon jokes that might just get you in a flap, or these toad-ally awesome toad jokes!
But if tortoises are what you're after then just you wait - because they're coming right up! Slowly... here they are... any minute now... come on...
A tortoise got mugged by 3 snails
When he was interviewed by the police, he said ' I don't know it happened so fast!"
Man goes in to a shoe shop and buys some tortoise skin shoes
Took him 3 hours to walk out of the shop!
What do you call a Tortoise that has to pee?
A Porpoise!
I asked the library for a book on Tortoises
The clerk asked, "Hardback?" "Yes, and a stumpy tail!"
Why don't tortoises wear scarves?
They have turtlenecks!
In the story "the tortoise and the hare", what was the tortoise's name?
Winslow!
What did the Tortoise say when she was dating the Sloth?
Let’s taake it sloooooow!
Did you hear all the tortoises escaped from the zoo?
It was a turtle disaster!
Where do you find a snoozy tortoise?
Right where you left it!
What did the snail say while riding on the tortoise’s back?
" Wheeeeeeeee!"
Why did the tortoise cross the road?
We don't know yet, they’re still crossing!
Where do tortoises buy petrol?
From the Shell garage!
What does a tortoise eat when it’s on a diet?
Torto-llini!
Why is tortoise wax so expensive?
Because they only have little ears!
I was a turtle in my past life...
It's slowly coming back to me!
Which animal has a shell and can run really fast?
A galoppagos tortoise!
Guess what a famous tortoise is called?
A shell-ebrity!
What does a tortoise do on their birthday?
They shell-a-brate!
Why did the snail stop hanging out with the tortoise?
He couldn't keep up with the fast-paced lifestyle!
My favourite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle
Strange name but she tortoise well!
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